Everyone has heard of a “Bridezilla”, but what about “BRIDAL-ZILLA” They are any and all members of the bridal party who turn into fire breathing monsters if things don’t go their way. Some couples are so cruizy that most stress comes from the Mother of the bride/bridesmaid/Father of the groom/etc.
So how do you deal with them?
Well if locking them in a cupboard is out of the question, try some of the following:
Listening to their concerns/suggestions
At the end of the day, most people are just trying to help. Granted ‘harping on’ about issues will not help the situation but at least endeavor to listen to what they are talking about. They may have some good points, or they may be concerned about something because they are missing information you have already sorted out. At any rate, try to be as friendly as possible and answer calmly where applicable.
Make it clear you will only talk about wedding stuff at certain times
Like your job, you don’t really want to talk about it after hours (unless you are a DJ…because being a DJ is AWESOME ;-) lol) So ensure everyone knows that you will only talk about wedding stuff on the weekends. Sure you may DO wedding stuff during the week (like research and meetings) but you will only “talk” wedding stuff at allocated times. If you don’t make a clear definition of when is “your time” and when is “wedding time” you may go crazy.
Don’t attack head on
Going postal on anyone who is giving you strife is a sure way to escalate conflict. Don’t get me wrong, there will be times when this will be the only option, but if you can, DON’T attack head on. For example- try having a quiet word to the person’s partner, or arrange for a coffee date and gently bring up the topic and how you feel about it. Remember if you lose your temper you lose your advantage
Compromise
Sometimes, coming to a mutual agreement is the best option. You should never do this for anything you have had your heart set on (providing it is realistic) but if you don’t have overly strong feelings towards something, and if it saves tension, let them have it. It will still be your day, just don’t sweat the small stuff.
Stand your ground
So I have mentioned Compromise, but it is also important to stand your ground. For example- If you really want your theme to be orange, then don’t settle for anything else! Just because I can’t see it working, it is not my vision, and more importantly, not my wedding. Be prepared to stand and fight for what you want, but again, don’t sweat the small stuff
Remember! It’s your wedding!
At the end of the day, it is your wedding! If someone else is paying for it, clearly ask them is it a gift to you or is it ‘their’ event? If money is going to be a problem either elope, or save till YOU can afford what you want. There is nothing wrong with being grateful and even incorporating some of the givers ideas, but if they are going to start making demands, it is not worth it.
If you get a ‘bridalzilla’ you can make it very clear that if they don’t like it, tell them they don’t have to come. But as a word of caution, be sure YOU don’t start turning into a snarling beast as a bridezilla is even worse ;-)
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